Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You may now shotgun with the bride
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
