You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
