It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Your cock deserves a montage
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
