I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
