i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize