It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
