Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
