im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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