and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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