dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she peed on how many people?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
