I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
