the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
