haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
one two three fourrrrnication!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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