Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i need to put some appletini on your dick
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
