Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
