the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
