Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize