just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
