i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
