Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize