Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
