Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
