How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
