do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i will never coherently bang her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
