scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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