Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
