in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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