so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
