Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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