ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
