the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
