And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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