the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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