Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
is wine microwaveable?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
