Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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