Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
