We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
either way he was missing a nipple.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
