for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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