if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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