This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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