Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize