i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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