She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
