the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
