Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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