Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
