I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
