I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
