so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
