I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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