Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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