Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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