dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize