shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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