would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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