I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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