So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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