she smelled like a LAN party
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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