fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
