If i come over, it means nothing
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
