party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
