What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
