fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
