i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
